Nicky Perfect B.E.M is a former Hostage and Crisis Negotiator with over 31 years’ service in policing, including a decade on the elite New Scotland Yard Hostage and Crisis Negotiation Unit. She later became the UK Director of National Negotiator Training, responsible for developing and maintaining negotiation standards across the country.

Today, she is one of the UK’s leading voices on high-stakes communication, helping organisations, leaders and families navigate conflict, pressure and difficult conversations with clarity and confidence.

Nicky was awarded the British Empire Medal (BEM) for meritorious service to the community during the COVID-19 pandemic, recognising her commitment to supporting and connecting people during a time of national crisis. While her professional life has often involved negotiating in life-or-death situations, her community work reflects the same core belief: communication, compassion and leadership matter most when uncertainty is highest.

Her policing career placed her in some of the most intense and emotionally charged environments imaginable — from life-threatening hostage incidents to complex suicide interventions and international negotiations. As UK Director of Negotiator Training, she ensured officers across the country were equipped with the latest psychological research, listening frameworks and de-escalation strategies.

Her expertise is built on a simple but powerful belief:
Communication is not a soft skill — it is a life-changing skill.

Nicky now works globally as a keynote speaker, communication coach and trainer. She delivers transformational sessions on negotiation, leadership communication, conflict management, emotional regulation and influence under pressure. Her work translates the proven frameworks of crisis negotiation into practical tools for boardrooms, classrooms and family homes.

Her programmes explore:

• The Behavioural Change Stairway Model

• Listening as a strategic tool

• Managing ego and emotion in high-stakes moments

• Turning conflict into collaboration

• Negotiation in parenting and family life
• Negotiating salaries, promotions and professional influence
• Supporting women in high-pressure leadership roles

Nicky is increasingly sought after by national and international media to comment on negotiation and communication in everyday life.

She has appeared on Saturday Live and Woman’s Hour on BBC Radio 4, as well as BBC Three Counties Radio and the BBC television programme Crimewatch.

She has also appeared on Good Morning Britain, Australia’s Weekend Sunrise, and the US radio programme Here & Now, reflecting growing international interest in her work.

Her insights have been featured in national publications including Woman’s Own, Good Housekeeping, and Chat, where she has discussed negotiation in parenting, securing better pay, navigating difficult relationships, and supporting women in high-powered roles.

Alongside her national work, Nicky runs multiple businesses including corporate communication training programmes and community-focused social enterprises. She is deeply committed to bridging high-performance negotiation with real-world human connection.

She is the author of the bestselling book Crisis: True Stories from My Life as a Hostage & Crisis Negotiator, and continues to advocate for teaching negotiation and emotional intelligence skills earlier in life — particularly to young people and families.

Whether she is addressing a room of CEOs, headteachers, parents or frontline professionals, Nicky’s message remains consistent:

When we learn to truly listen, manage our own emotions, and see the world from another person’s perspective — we change outcomes

Key Lessons from the World of Hostage/Crisis Negotiation

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